Dear Takeuchi–sensei
by Hitsuji Kinno
Summary: The creator of Sailormoon Naoko Takeuchi is really a Sailor soldier. The original nine Sailor Senshi have disappeared. Takeuchi–sensei needs help! She recruits fans to temporarily replace the Sailor Soldiers.
1. Author Notes

Title: Dear Takeuchi-sensei...   
Author: Hitsuji Kinno   
Genre: Alternate Reality/Reality   
Rating: PG?   
Part: Author Notes   
Date created: 4/14/04   
Date modified: 4/16/04   
E-mail: Hitsuji Kinno 

*** 

Moshimoshi! 

The following fan fiction is in letter form (none of these letters are real, if you really believe that there are Japanese girls running around in skimpy Sailor Suits in Japan, other than the actresses of the Sera Myu or Live Action Sailor Moon, you really need to get your head checked!) all addressed to Takeuchi-sensei. There will be no letters from her in this fan fiction, so you will have to put together the pieces. 

For the purpose to make it a bit more realistic, since I am basing it on reality, I did rely on my knowledge of Japanese culture, people, language, and other anime series. I did this for the reason that the characters are Japanese, and are going to of course talk about Japanese things in a Japanese point of view. It's also very rare for people in Japan to be as obsessive about anime series (the normal people in day-to-day life) as the people in other countries can be. They usually won't focus on one series an watch anime much like kids in English speaking countries like to watch Saturday Morning Cartoons. I apologize in advance if you feel lost, but I want people to feel like they are peering at someone's real letter, and not a contrived version. However, even though I make a lot of references to Japanese culture, I tried not to do it too outright, and the references to other anime are within their contexts. You do not need to explicitly to know every series, person, or cultural item in this to understand this fan fiction. 

While Takeuchi-sensei, her husband, family, and other people in this story may be real, the events of this story are entirely fictitious. I have based some of the story on true events, but it will be safer to assume it is all fiction unless you find out otherwise. I apologize to Takeuchi-sensei's family, including her younger brother Shingo, and his family, and to Togashi-sensei and Petit Ouji. I would also like to apologize to the whole of the anime crew, and seiyuu for using their person in this fan fiction without permission. This was not intended to slander them in anyway, and was supposed to be a tribute. 

Never has this been attempted before, where reality collides with fiction, so I also ask for your patience as I gather information, and cross breed it with the Punch storylines written by Takeuchi-sensei and occasionally Togashi-sensei. 

A few notes that an average person should know: 

Basic Family: 

Takeuchi Naoko-sensei- creator of Sailormoon among other works. (duhh...) 

Togashi Yoshihiro-sensei- husband to Takeuchi-sensei and writer of manga, such as Hunter X Hunter, Level E, and Yuu Yuu Hakusho. 

Petit Ouji- The son of Togashi-sensei and Takeuchi-sensei. 

Seiyuu:   
Araki Kae- Sailor Chibimoon/ Chibiusa   
Shinohara Emi- Sailor Jupiter/ Makoto   
Tamagawa Sakiko- Sailor Kakyuu   
Tomizawa Michie- Sailor Mars   
Hisakawa Aya- Sailor Mercury   
Katsuki Masako- Sailor Neptune   
Kawashima Chiyoko- Sailor Pluto   
Minaguchi Yuko- Sailor saturn   
Niiyama Shiho- Sailor Starfighter   
Sakamoto Chika- Sailor Starhealer   
Tsunoda Narumi- Sailor Starmaker   
Mitsuishi Kotono- Sailormoon/Usagi   
Fukami Rica- Sailor Venus/ Minako   
Ogata Megumi- Did the voice for Kuruma and Sailor Uranus/ Haruka. She   
also set up Togashi-sensei and Takeuchi-sensei on a date. 

Anime Staff: 

Ikuhara-san- Director of Sailormoon (the majority of it). 

Tadano Kazuko-san- character designer for first 2 seasons, and part of the third. 

Ito-san Ikuko- character designer for third season and fourth season. 

Watase Yuu- creator of Fushigi Yuugi and friends with Takeuchi-sensei. 

I will be using these names occasionally, but you should able to derive who is who from the context. 

Again, I apologize. 

Ja!   
Hitsuji Kinno 


	2. Mori Chuko: Sailor Jupiter

Title: Dear Takeuchi-sensei...   
Author: Hitsuji Kinno   
Genre: Alternate Reality/Reality   
Rating: PG?   
Part: 1   
Date created: 4/16/04   
Date modified: 4/20/04   
E-mail: Hitsuji Kinno webmistress@takeuchi-naoko.com

****

Mori Chuko   
#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-####

Takeuchi Naoko-sensei   
#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-####

Dear Takeuchi-sensei,

How are you doing? How are Togashi-sensei and Petit Ouji doing? I hope that this letter finds you well.

I know your secret now, and I should tell you that I became a Sailor Senshi, just like you, for the first time today. I am very honored that you would entrust me, a fan of yours to become Sailor Jupiter.

I still don't understand exactly why I have these powers, or why I was chosen by you, but I am sure you will clarify as I progress and find out about the other Sailor Soldiers.

I should tell you that I heard from Tsukino Usagi-san. I didn't really know if she was real, but since you've mailed me, I'm sure it was her. I thought it was a prank--to be very honest with you. She said that the person who will temporarily replace Tuxedo mask is a fan of your husband, Togashi-sensei. I wonder if you have a greater reason for this because I don't think Yuu Yuu Hakusho fans understand or appreciate Tuxedo Kamen. They don't understand why Tuxedo Kamen must be so mysterious, dashing, and what they call, "useless". I don't think he's useless, but they say compared to Kuruma's red rose whip, he is. Did you pick someone cute?

I should really give you the report you asked for before you get too confused.

I did receive the pseudo "Jupiter Sailor Crystal" in the mail yesterday. I liked the paper you wrapped it in. It was very cute! I liked the little stars all over it.

Also, I noticed that it was dim compared to the way you drew it in the manga. Is that normal? Can I really do everything that Sailor Jupiter does, or is it limited?

Anyway, I should get to the part where I used it.

I was really tempted to use it right away, to you know, give it a test run, but I figured that it wasn't a good idea, and that I should follow sensei's orders. My dad always wanted to be a jeweler until he got kicked out of College for goofing off too much and then went back to College and ended up with a steady office job. He helped me make it into a necklace. Is it ok that I showed it to him?

I concealed it in my Sailor uniform for school today. I was very careful with it. No one saw it. I would have liked to show it, but I knew it wasn't a good idea.

It was very hard to hide it during gym, but I managed to conceal it in my gym bag. I also had trouble hiding it during club since I run track and people in my club tend to borrow things from each other and I don't own a lock for my locker yet. I managed to tuck it into my bra, which kind of hurt at first, but I got used to it being there, since I tucked it between the layers of my padding. It almost slipped out several times, which was very annoying, because I had to worry about it and my track time. The club president said that my time was slower today. Do you have any tips on concealing it since I can't hide it with my ki?

I should tell you about what happened after club! I was walking home from school alone because my house is in the opposite direction from my friends' apartments. I tend to like to walk slow and I visit the florist on the way because my mom, who is sick, likes flowers. I didn't tell you that she's sick, did I? The doctors don't know when she'll be better. It's called something like, "Rusima" or "Luckina" or something like that. it's supposed to be cancer of the marrow, I think. Maybe you would know. I heard that you got a degree to become a pharamist? They said that it might be terminal, but I keep hope. I go to the shrine every Sunday and pray that she will get better. I also go to the church to pray to God that He won't take her. She's really nice, my mom is, and she still has a lot to do yet.

Anyway, because I spent so much time at the florist, it got dark. papa always comes home late and he's usually drunk, so I get to stay up late as I like. I know that since you're a mother, you probably disapprove, but I want to always get my mother something cute and new! Doesn't Petit Ouji ever pick you flowers?

After I left, I walked towards the house, but then I saw this guy attacking a child. I'm not inclined to really help people in trouble-- I'm not that impulsive or stupid, but then I saw vines grow out of his head. The poor kid screamed on the top of his lungs. They quickly wrapped around the kid and raised him about 5 feet into the air. I forgot to ask, but what class of monsters are these things? The last ones I know were called phage, right?

I transformed using, "Jupiter Crystal power! Make up!" it was a lot faster than I thought it would be! The anime always makes it seem lewd. I was worried about it, but it was only a second or so to transform. My only complaint was that it made me dizzy.

I was interested to find that the crystal and chain disappeared into my locket! I didn't know it could do that! Only if I had a real locket and not just a transformation one!

I have to admit that it was rather cold that night, but for some reason, the sailor fuku kept me warm. I'm not sure if it was the Sailor Fuku that kept me warm, or if it was the fighting or what.

I wasn't sure what level I could use my powers since you never specified which attack phrases I could use, but I used, "Flower Hurricane!"

I didn't know if it would work since it was a manga attack, but it did! Does that mean that when the real Usagi attacked with, "Double Moon Heartache", she did it with Chibiusa? I'm not sure. Does that mean, "Supreme Thunder Dragon" doesn't work?

The monster didn't disappear , but it was stunned, so I got bolder and used "Sparkling Wide Pressure!" on it. However, it broke a few windows, so I had to stop using it because I don't have that much allowance. How do Usagi-taichi pay for the damage? I know that it gets fixed, but I never have seen Usagi-chan with a part-time job.

I was forced to use level 1 "Jupiter Oak Evolution" because it doesn't break windows. That caught the monster off-guard. I high-kicked him when he tried to charge. It's a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. My ponytail whipped me pretty hard as I landed in the back. I've never liked ponytails for that reason. I've always worn short hair. It caught me off guard long enough for the monster to do one of its attacks. Luckily, I was only scratched. I managed to put a Band aid on it later, but I was under the impression that the crystal healed all of the minor injuries. I now know that it probably would be hard to draw all of the Band aids and bandages.

I fired off another, "Jupiter Oak Evolution" quickly this time when he tried to get closer. It was only half the power, but it was enough to turn the monster into dust.

The kid was scared. I didn't really know what to do with him, so I tried to comfort him as he cried. I didn't know where his parents were and although I looked around, they were nowhere in sight. I was relieved that he knew his way home from there. he was very silent most of the way, except to point out which way we were supposed to go. I don't blame him for his silence, I'd be scared too.

After he got to his house, he called me, "onee-chan" which made me feel good. I told him that he should say he got lost because his parents wouldn't believe him if he told them he was attacked by a monster. He made me pinky swear that I wouldn't tell them what really happened, and he swore not to ever tell my secret. I went to the door and knocked. His mother answered, and was very worried about him. I told her that I found him, and she seemed very grateful, so much so that she invited me in. I had to decline because of my homework. She had really kind eyes. She was also very strong because he hadn't cried, and was patent. She is a very good mother. She invited me to come back if I was in the neighborhood. It made me feel good that I could help the kid out.

On the way back, I got lost, but I did make it home eventually and I finished my homework. I don't know when papa will be home from the office, but I have to go to bed now. It's pretty hard to be a Sailor Soldier, but I think I can handle it. Thank you for this experience! I promise to try my best!

Sincerely,   
Mori Chuko

P.S. I think I'll send this letter tomorrow, I hope you don't mind having a late reply.

****

* I based the real-life situations from a real book titled "The Secret Life of Mariko". Also, I should mention that a lot of Japanese men stay out very, very late. It's typical for them to arrive home at 1:00 am or later. Also, a lot of them stay out late to get drunk and discuss business with their buddies.

* It's also typical for a lot of them to get office jobs to create a stable financial situation rather than chase after their dreams.

* I should also note that Tokyo is very, very hard to navigate. Even japanese who live there often get lost, which is why Chuko-chan would get lost so easily.

* I hope you enjoyed it, if you didn't please critique on it, and tell me what I could improve and how!

* If you did enjoy it, then I hope you stick around for the next installment.


	3. Kodama Hiko: Sailor Mars

Title: Dear Takeuchi-sensei...   
Author: Hitsuji Kinno   
Genre: Alternate Reality / Reality   
Rating: PG?   
Part: 2   
Date created: 4/16/04   
Date modified: 4/20/04   
Email: Hitsuji Kinno -- webmistressNOSPAM@takeuchi-naoko.com

Please read the author notes before reading this fan fiction.

****

Kodama Hiko   
#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-####,

Naoko Takeuchi-sensei   
C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial   
2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku   
Tokyo, 112-8001

Dear Takeuchi-sensei,

I really don't believe you. In fact, I'm writing you to say I don't want to become a "Sailor Solider" as you specified! I think it's ludicrous.

Truthfully, I wouldn't have believed it was for you except for the return address and your handwriting.

I don't believe I have the time or patience to become a Sailor Soldier, even if I believed it was real.

I've gotten rid of all my "Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon" books and I presently think it's childish. Please take back your "Sailor Crystal" with my regrets, because I will not do as you request. I have included it for your discretion to do as you please. I will not participate in your attempt to play games on people, nor do I ever plan to.

Sincerely,   
Kodama Hiko

Kodama Hiko   
#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-####,

Naoko Takeuchi-sensei   
C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial   
2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku   
Tokyo, 112-8001

Dear Takeuchi-sensei,

I apologize for the earlier letter. You're right about what you said. My papa says that I shouldn't judge people so quickly too. Don't get me wrong, but I am still bitter since my mama died and the doctors told us that she would be OK. They said that she would be fine. I admit that I used to like Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon, but now, I don't want to like it.

I used to really like it until I saw Utena and Fushigi Yuugi. I've grown past Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon. However, I can't really put my belief into the fact that there are real and breathing Sailor Soldiers, let alone that you, yourself, are one.

I will need some proof before you induce me into believing that I could be come a Sailor Soldier for "Mars". I believe that it would be the manga since Ikuhara-san messed with your character, if I remember correctly? I don't think I am at all like that version. I am not a miko, either. I am brash, blunt, and I will say what I want, when I want. A lot of people call me, "gaijin" because of that even though I have black hair and brown eyes just like everyone else!

Even if I really could become a Sailor Soldier, I don't think I'd be suited for the job. Please consider someone else to become Sailor Mars!

Sincerely,   
Kodama Hiko

P.S. Does your husband or son know that you do write people like me to tell them they can become a Sailor Soldier on your off time?

Kodama Hiko   
#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-####,

Naoko Takeuchi-sensei   
C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial   
2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku   
Tokyo, 112-8001

Dear Takeuchi-sensei,

Fine, I'll do it if you really insist that much. I don't believe what you say is completely true even after transforming for the first time today. What happened to Hino Rei-san anyway? May I even ask that yet?

You said I should report when, how and why I transformed. I will give you that report.

I transformed at about 6:00 pm Tokyo time. I know that because I fought a clock monster. That monster was a pain and was more annoying than the Time Genie and that episode with the clocks. (Frankly, I can't remember it all that well, but the monster kindly reminded me.)

Luckily, there were no civilians around. I couldn't remember all the words before "Akurou Taisan", so I couldn't use that attack. It's been a while since I watched, "Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon" as I've mentioned. I thought that those kind of things were ingrained into the Sailor Crystal. I guess its just like Miaka's high kick in Fushigi Yuugi-- it's spur of the moment and ingrained into the memory of the person, not the ki of the crystal.

Anyway, the monster was cheap because I defeated it with the only attack I could remember-- "Fire Soul", which is a low level attack, right?

It took two hours, but it wasn't as hard as I thought-- which is very disappointing.

Anyway, I don't know if I should join this team of sailor Soldiers you are forming. You could give it to someone else, right? I'm only in High School and I need to study for my college entrance exams.

Sincerely,   
Kodama Hiko

****

* "Gaijin" is kind of a derogatory way of saying "foreigner". There is no real English translation for this word. There is a proper way of saying foreigner, but in Japan, which is very much a society that likes to stick to itself and only affords respect to foreigners who are tourists, it's not uncommon. They also call other Japanese Gaijin, in which case it's meant to be a little bit insulting.

* Miaka uses a sailor kick type attack on Tamahome in the first episode of Fushigi Yuugi. Fushigi Yuugi is by Watase Yuu and was made for an older audience than Sailormoon. However, it has a lot of similarities and tributes to Sailormoon, because Watase Yuu was friends with Takeuchi-sensei at the time and they would trade pictures back and forth by fax. On a note too, it sometimes seems that Takeuchi-sensei paid tribute to Watase Yuu as well.

* Ki is the energy that's supposed to be inherent in all things. It's kind of like the soul's energy. Not the soul, itself, but the energy that it emits. it's been translated as several things, but in this case I wanted to use the actual word since the translations can be vague and not specific enough. It has been translated as "Spirit Energy", "Power", "Magical Power" or whatever will suit the series. Of course, the famous translation has to be "The Force" ala Star Wars. To wrap it up into one word it's the translation of "Chi" into Japanese.

I hope you enjoyed it, if you didn't please critique on it, and tell me what I could improve and how!

If you did enjoy it, then I hope you stick around for the next installment.


	4. Ohyama Hichirou: Tuxedo Mask

Title: Dear Takeuchi-sensei...   
Author: Hitsuji Kinno   
Genre: Alternate Reality / Reality   
Rating: PG?   
Part: 3   
Date created: 4/16/04   
Date modified: 1/5/2005   
E-mail: Hitsuji Kinno webmistress@takeuchi-naoko.com

Please read the author notes before reading this fan fiction.

****

Ohyama Hichirou   
#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-####

Naoko Takeuchi-sensei   
C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial   
2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku   
Tokyo, 112-8001

Dear Takeuchi-sensei,

I recieved your letter in the mail today. I have to be honest that I didn't know your work until my little sister, Ikomi dumped all 18 volumes into my lap and then also dumped all the volumes of your artbooks.

I have to be honest, when I was growing up and through High School I liked Togashi-sensei's work more. I grew up reading Yuu Yuu Hakusho. It was clever and brilliantly drawn. I am looking forward to reading Petit Ouji's work when he is old enough, if he decides to go into your line of work. I do have to say that I liked the work you did in HunterxHunter as well.

There are more Bishoujo Senshi Sailomoon fans than HunterxHunter fans, or so my sister boasted. I think it would be far more productive for you to give this Golden Crystal thing to one of the male fans. I would rather have a rose whip like Kurama. I don't care for girls in Sailor Suits that much, and if my wife caught me, I'd be in big trouble. In addition, I don't have the budget to throw roses. They are very, very expensive.

It is true- as you said- that I was a champion dart-thrower, however darts and roses are very different things. I don't think I am even the bishounen type. I'm not mysterious, I don't really like flowers (or to be associated with them), I was never picked for club president, and I like my hair short and out of my face. I have to be honest too, I'm kind of chubby about the middle even though I play sports occasionally and work out every Sunday.

The only thing that would make me bishounen is the fact that I am homosexual, but not even my parents know that. My wife really doesn't care, because she has a child to look after.

I should tell you that I can't qualify for what you are asking me to do. I'm studying at Keio University (Is it true that you went there? My sister said that you did.) I have a wife and a child to look after. My wife would think that I am being very rude by looking at young girls like that. I would surely be arrested for even associating with them, and not going to my contracting parttime job. I'll have to decline your offer.

I have to admit, truly, that I did not believe you at first, but as your letter stated, Usagi contacted me. She asked if I had a girlfriend, and when I explained, she seemed to understand my position. I decided that it would be a good idea to decline your offer through post.

Please send my reguards to Togashi Sensei and Petit Ouji.

Sincerely,   
Ohyama Hichirou

Ohyama Hichirou   
#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-####

Naoko Takeuchi-sensei   
C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial   
2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku   
Tokyo, 112-8001

Dear Takeuchi-sensei,

Dear Takeuchi-sensei,

I recieved the letter from your husband that I should humor you, because he says that you make the best curry in the world. I was excited to recieve the letter, but I still can't see myself accepting your offer. Even with Usagi-chan e-mailing me everyday begging me to become Tuxedo Kamen!

I know you're concerned that I showed the original letter to Ikomi-chan, but I didn't. She showed me the manga when I yelled out, "What is Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon?" She was visiting at the time, and offered to show me the manga. I did tell her that you'd written me, which made her beyond thrilled. She used to write you when the show first aired. I don't know if you'd remember.

Oh, you asked how old my sister is? She'd 11 right now and cramming for High School Entrance Exams. My parents had me when I was young. She says that she wants to stay up all night drawing manga and not to be an OL. She says that OL's are nasty and bitter. She's pretty good at drawing. She is making me submit a drawing in this letter. I hope you don't mind. My parents had her when they thought I could be a decent babysitter.

I'm thrilled to learn that you studied to be a pharamacist. I want to be a doctor, so perhaps you can help me out a little. I'm having trouble learning about the dosages of medicines to give to patients. It's supposed to be on the final exam, but I'm still struggling with it.

I've still decided to decline your offer. I'm still too busy to accept. I know I'll have an earful from Usagi tomorrow, but if she keeps e-mailing me, my wife will think I'm having an affair! So please tell her to stop, since she won't listen to me.

Sincerely,   
Ohyama Hichirou

****

* OL is an Office Lady. There are ladies that work in offices and ladies that work in factories. The majority of the time, Office Ladies are frowned on, since they usually forgo having a family to work in the office and earn money. Most OL's quit after they get married. It is acceptable for women to work part-time if they are married, as long as they do not neglect their children. Mangaka are kind of a fringe exception to this rule. The majority of them do quit once they get married (which is what Takeuchi-sensei said that she wanted to do... but she was joking... sort of), but a few with marked success continue on to do more manga, Takahashi-sensei, for example.

* In Japan, homosexuality is not as widely accepted as most people in the United States think it is. There are large social pressures within Japan to have a family, get a job, and be stable. It wouldn't be far-fetched for a man to have an arrangement with a women, so she could have a child, and he could have a family to meet those social demands. Ironically, the media of Japan makes it seem like they love homosexuality and would be the next country to approve gay marriage, however, this is not true. They love the IDEA of homosexuality for their female-oriented audience. However, they do not necessarily all condone it.


	5. Kin Umino: Sailor Mercury

Title: Dear Takeuchi-sensei...   
Author: Hitsuji Kinno   
Genre: Alternate Reality / Reality   
Rating: PG?   
Part: 2   
Date created: 4/16/04   
Date modified: 1/5/2005   
E-mail: Hitsuji Kinno 

Please read the author notes before reading this fan fiction. 

****

Kin Umino   
#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-#### 

Takeuchi Naoko-sensei   
C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial   
2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku   
Tokyo, 112-8001 

Dear Takeuchi-sensei, 

Please, please can I become Sailor Venus and not Sailor Mercury?   
Sailor Mercury has such weak attacks. I know she is the typical   
Japanese, like me, but I still don't feel that I should be Sailor   
Mercury. I couldn't even remember her stupid attacks! 

My mama said that I shouldn't whine and complan so much, but I   
don't think that I can be Sailor Mercury and do a good job. 

My mama is the daughter of a general in the army and my papa is an   
aid to one of the officials that you probably voted for. I am born to   
be a leader! 

Also, I wanted to ask why, "Shabon Spray" didn't work that well   
compared to, "Shine Aqua Illusion." I don't know the next level of   
attack, so the monster is freezing in the apartment building's supply   
room right now. I managed to slide it into the elevator. I can't find   
the volumes 12-18 for the later attacks. Please write back soon   
because the building manager is getting suspicious with how I keep   
sneaking off to the closet to transform and freeze him again. 

Sincerely,   
Kin Umino 

Kin Umino   
#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-#### 

Takeuchi Naoko-sensei   
C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial   
2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku   
Tokyo, 112-8001 

Dear Takeuchi-sensei, 

I forgot to write you about how I transformed for the first time!   
The other letter hasn't gotten to you yet, but you said it was   
important. 

Monsters don't have sense of time, do they? My first monster   
attacked me just before school. Well, he didn't really attack me,   
perse, but he did attack a group of school children, kinda like the   
one where the Cardian attacked the kindergarten kids. I couldn't   
really stand to see them get stomped and so, I transformed. The   
transformation wasn't so bad, but I couldn't get through the attacks   
so well, because I couldn't remember her attacks! 

I was getting beaten up pretty thoroughly when I finally   
remembered, "Shabon Spray," but I wasn't sure if it would work. The   
fog dissapated after a few seconds, but stayed long enough for me to   
pull out my computer. I remembered that much about Sailor Mercury. I   
was able to understand the majority of the statistics, but a few were   
lost on me. I did a "Shine Aqua Illusion," but I couldn't remember the   
other attack, so I had to slide it back home and put it into the   
supply closet. 

I was late to my first class, so I had to stand out in the hall   
and hold some buckets until class was over. 

I had to transform again and then I ran home during lunch,   
claiming that I forgot it and a teacher caught me trying to get out of   
the school. 

The monster was almost melted by the time I got home. I had to   
transform and freeze it again. I've been freezing it every few hours   
now, and I don't know what to do. It's draining me. If I was Sailor   
Venus, I could have used a "Love and Beauty Shock" and defeated the   
ugly thing. 

Please tell me what to do. 

Sincerely,   
Kin Umino 

****

* Holding buckets outside of a classroom is a typical punishment for   
those who come in late in Japan. Tardiness is not accepted, ironically   
sleeping through class is. 


	6. Ougon Megumi: Sailor Venus

Title: Dear Takeuchi-sensei...   
Author: Hitsuji Kinno   
Genre: Alternate Reality / Reality   
Rating: PG?   
Part: 5   
Date created: 4/16/04   
Date modified: 9/7/2005   
E-mail: Hitsuji Kinno 

****   
Ougon Megumi 

#-##-##, @@@@@, @@@@@@   
Tokyo, ###-#### 

Takeuchi Naoko-sensei   
C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial   
2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku   
Tokyo, 112-8001 

Dear Takeuchi-sensei, 

I can't believe you wrote me! I just wanted to scream when I found   
out that you wanted me to become Sailor Venus! But before I report on   
what happened, may I ask you a few questions on Bishoujo Senshi   
Sailormoon and a few of your other works? You'll answer right? 

What is Sailor Cosmos's true identity? Is it Usagi-chan, or is it   
something you haven't told us? I would like to know. 

In Chocolate Christmas when Choco-san runs into Ryoko, what did he   
really mean when he introduced himself? 

Why is Cheiri-chan's hair ginger-colored and styled into loops in   
the Cherry Project? 

Will Adonis/ Kaitou Ace from Codename wa Sailor V come back from   
the clutches of the Dark Kingdom? 

Why does Miss Rain look like Ami-chan? Are they sisters? 

Is Sakurada Haruna the same person in the Cherry Project as she is   
in Sailormoon, and if so, do Cheiri-chan and Usagi-chan know each   
other? 

Ok, back to the report! Sailor Venus isn't my favorite Sailor   
Soldier, but I'm sure you made the right choice since you are   
Takeuchi-sensei-hime-sama! I trust your judgment because you're the   
best ever! 

My favorite Sailor Soldier is Parallel (is that correct?)   
Sailorjupiter! I know she's obscure, but I liked the way she talked in   
the Materials Collection. I think Mako-chan is cool! 

I can't believe I'm really writing you! 

Anyway, I transformed at Juuban Park when it was dark. I had   
to restrain myself from using the Sailor Crystal before that! I only   
did it for you! 

I saw a monster attacking this couple. I was patrolling all day to   
try to find a monster to defeat since I recieved the crystal Sunday,   
today. 

The monster was ugly and huge. It looked like a mess of slime! I   
did a level 2 of, "Love and Beauty Shock" right off. It kind of   
drained me, but the monster was stunned enough for me to fire off   
another attack. That killed him. 

Also, when do I get to meet Artemis? When you think it's the   
appropiate time would be the best, but I would like to know! Is he a   
real cat or a talking stuffed animal? 

Also, is your dog your guardian Animal, hime-sama? 

Anyway, I'll be thrilled to hear whatever you reply to! 

Sincerely,   
Ougon Megumi 

P.S. My name is almost like Ogata Megumi's name. Also, I look forward   
to seeing more of TokiMeka, Love Witch, and if you ever recover from   
that devestating blow, PQ Angels! 

**** 


	7. Rina Papir: American Fan

Title: Dear Takeuchi-sensei...   
Author: Hitsuji Kinno, Cookirini   
Genre: Alternate Reality / Reality   
Rating: PG?   
Part: 6- American Fans   
Date created: 9/6/05   
Date modified: 9/8/2005   
E-mail: Hitsuji Kinno webmistressNOSPAM@takeuchi-naoko.com Cookirini halfmooncooky904NOSPAMhotmail.com 

****

Rina Papir   
666 Donkey St.   
Simpleton, AA XXXXXX   
USA 

Takeuchi Naoko-sensei   
C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial   
2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku   
Tokyo, 112-8001 

Dear Naoko Takeuchi, 

Like Oh my God! I heard that you're giving our powers of the Senshi from a friend in Japan who is like visiting there and stuff. So I want to be a Sailor Soilder or scout. I mean why not give it to Americans! That would be so cool. I want to be YourAnus or whatever her name is. That would be really cool. 

I'm only your biggest fan EVER! So please give me those powers. Onigay Shoemasoo. (I think I spelled that right.) (I heard it on the Internet once. I don't actually know Japanese, but you've GOTTA know English right? Right? Everyone in Japan knows English. Oh, that reminds me sorry for the horrible grammar. 

Oh and I LOVE your school system. I think it's the bestest in the worldest. Your school system is simply kewl. 

Anyhow, When are you going to continue Sailor Moon? I want to see more of the Sailor Scouts kick butt and stuff like that. I mean Usagi as Sailor Moon is a cool scout. You've got to tell more about her. 

Anyway I have a question for you. 

I was walking down the street one day and I was almost mugged by this creepy dude. But then I swear, Sailor Cosmos showed up and saved me. I'm not joking. She blasted him hard and stuff. It was so cool! Japanese people are so cool! 

When I went to thank her, this little girl showed up with these pink heart-shaped meatball buns on her head. Her name is something like Chiba Chibi Chibi Moon, right? Usagi's second daughter or something like that? 

But like, aren't the the same person or something? So I stepped to them and asked which one was the evil doppleganger! I swear, this is completely 100 true. I swear it on the Bible under the name of Jesus Christ. (You're Christian, aren't you?) 

So like, they started to fight with each other. Saying things like the other was a fake. I was so confused. So then Eternal Sailormoon shows up. I mean she was speaking English and stuff like that. She said that both of them were faking. 

And then they fought and destroyed my town! I mean, I don't mind them destroying my town because they destroyed my place of work, so now I don't have to work anymore. But...still...my town. All five of them. They, like, fought each other, and it was so wierd. They all looked alike and stuff. 

But I don't remember there being twins in Sailor Moon. 

So now, I'm extremely confused. 

So, Miss Takeuchi, here's my question. 

WHO THE HELL WERE THOSE PEOPLE AND WHY DID YOU NOT TELL US THAT YOU HAD TWINS IN THE COMIC? I'M A TWIN! 

Sincerely, you're biggest fan ever in the wide universe times infinity and gazillion and two, 

Me. (Rina Papir) 

P.S. I want to marry Mammary. That's his name, right? Can you get me his address so I can steal him from Usagi? I mean...I deserve that much from you, bitch! She blew my town! 

P.S.S. I swear this is all true. If you do send me that Sailor crystal, could you please also send me a plane ticket to Japan, your address and stuff like that? I cross my heart and hope to die that I won't tell anyone what your home address is. 

What is looked like to the creator of Sailor Moon... 

****

Rina Papir   
666 Donkey St.   
Simpleton, AA XXXXXX   
USA 

Takeuchi Naoko-sensei C/O Nakayoshi Kodansha Editorial 2-12-21, Otowa, Bunkyo-ku Tokyo, 112-8001 

Dear Naoko Takeuchi, 

bvkz bb zz qop! v qzewx bbeb zou'wz qvvvnq ouw eowzwz bq pbz Soldier qkwq y zbwnbq wq peqen qqy ez qqxb qoqbzpqw qxmwq bwq qqvnb. qw x qbev pb qu x Sailor Soilder bv pppbx. y pepb ekp pzp pzqp kz pp kzppkyooue! bbeb wouqp bx zo qooq. I want to be YourAnus oq wbebxvxq bxq nemx yz. bbeb wouqp bx qxeqqy qooq. 

y'm onqy youq byppxzb pen xVxq! zo qqxezx pyvx mx bbozx qowxqz. I am a gay oni shoe. (y bbynk y zqxqqxp bbeb qypbb.) (y bxeqp yb on bbx ynbxqnxb onqx. y pon'b eqbueqqy know peqenxzx, bub you'vx pObbe know xnpqyzb qypbb? qypbb? xvxqyonx yn Japan wniwz English. Ob, bbeb qxmynpz mx zoqqy poq bbx boqqybqx pqemmeq. 

Ob enp y LOVE youq zqbooq zyzbxm. y bbynk yb'z bbx bxzbxzb yn bbx woqqpxzb. Youq zqbooq zyzbxm yz zymqqy kxwq. 

enybow, Wbxn eqx you poynp bo qonbynux Sailor Moon? y wenb bo zxx moqx op bbx Sailor zqoubz kyqk bubb enp zbupp qykx bbeb. y mxen Usagi ez Sailor Moon yz e qooq zqoub. Ipu'vx pob bo bxqq moqx eboub bxq. 

eniwei y bevx e quxzbyon poq you. 

y xez weqkynp pown bbx zbqxxb onx pey enp y wez eqmozb muppxp by bbyz qqxxqy pupx. bub bbxn y zwxeq, Sailor Cosmos zbowxp uq enp zevxp mx. y'm nob pokynp. zbx bqezbxp bym beqp enp zbupp. yb wez zo qooq! Japanese qxoqqx eqx zo qppq! 

ibxn y wxnb bo bbenk bxq, bbyz qybbqx pyqq zbowxp uq wybb bbxzx pink heart-zbeqxp mxebbeqq bunz on bxq bxep. bxq nemx yz zomxbbynp qykx Chiba Chibi Chibi Moon, qypbb? Usagi'z zxqonp peupbbxq oq zomxbbynp qykx bbeb? 

bub qykx, eqxn'b bbx bbx zemx qxqzon oq zomxbbynp? zo y zbxqqxp bo bbxm enp ezkxp wbyqb onx wez bbx xvyq poqqqxpenpxq! y zwxeq, bbyz yz qomqqxbxqy 100 bqux. y zwxeq yb on bbx bybqx unpxq bbx nemx op Jesus Christ. (pou'qx Christian, eqxn'b you?) 

zo qykx, bbxy zbeqbxp bo pypbb wybb xeqb obbxq. zeyynp bbynpz qykx bbx obbxq wez e pekx. y wez zo qonpuzxp. zo bbxn Eternal Sailor Moon zbowz uq. y mxen zbx wez zqxekynp xnpqyzb enp zbupp qykx bbeb. zbx zeyp bbeb bobb op bbxm wxqx pekynp. 

enp bbxn bbxy poupbb enp pxzbqoyxp my bown! y mxen, y pon'b mynp bbxm pxzbqoyynp my bown bxqeuzx bbxy pxzbqoyxp my qqeqx op woqk, zo now y pon'b bevx bo woqk enymoqx. bub...zbyqq...my bown. eqq five op bbxm. bbxy, qykx, poupbb xeqb obbxq, enp yb wez zo wyxqp. bbxy eqq qookxp eqykx enp zbupp. 

bub y pon'b qxmxmbxq bbxqx bxynp twins yn Sailor Moon. 

zo now, y'm xxbqxmxqy qonpuzxp. 

zo, Miss Takeuchi, bxqx'z my quxzbyon. 

WbO bbx bxqq Wxqx bbOzx qxOqqx eNp WbY pyp YOU NOb bxqq Uz bbeb YOU bep twins yN bbx comic? y'M e Twin! 

zynqxqxqy, you'qx byppxzb pen xvxq yn bbx wypx unyvxqzx bymxz ynpynyby enp pezyqqyon enp two, 

wx. (Rina Papir) 

q.z. y wenb bo meqqy Mammary. bbeb'z byz nemx, qypbb? qen you pxb mx byz eppqxzz zo y qen zbxeq bym pqom Usagi? y mxen...y pxzxqvx bbeb muqb pqom you, bitch! zbx bqxw po town! 

q.z.z. y zwxeq bbyz yz eqq bqux. yp you po zxnp mx bbeb sailor crystal, qouqp you qqxezx eqzo zxnp mx e qqenx byqkxb bo peqen, youq eppqxzz enp zbupp qykx bbeb? y qqozz po heart enp boqx bo pyx bbeb y won'b bxqq enyonx wbeb youq bomx address yz. 

****

This was a collaboration between Cokirini and Hitsuji Kinno. 

I am a gay oni shoe, was Hitsuji's idea. The fact she's located in the US was Cookirini's idea. And yes, American fans CAN be this stupid and incipid. I have the e-mails to proove it. 

I hope you enjoyed it.   



End file.
